Thoughts of Paris

Disappointment when on the Seine River Cruise when my mother distracted me with her rage and I was unable to make a lucky wish that would assuredly have secured me everlasting youth, beauty and riches.

And World Peace

Joy, when I realised my life long dream to become a Moulin Rouge dancer.

Disappointment when it was pointed out to me that this may never happen.

Homicidal thoughts when my mother announced that I would be likely to knock myself out if I danced like that with my boobs as they are.

KnobJockey (s) of the week

All men.



I know this is very generalised and slightly unfair.


But so what.

7/7

Just to let everyone know that we're all safe over here and escaped any harm.

All of my thoughts are with those people who were killed or injured in this atrocity and their families and friends.

Total credit to the emergency services in London who did an outstanding job in reacting to the bombings and continue to work hard towards helping London through this and catching the bastards that did it.

London will go on because it is strong and unbending and it would be an absolute sin to let these animals win.

Love to everyone x

Fat Pigeon Syndrome

Leading on from the previous post, when I was discussing with Carrie the need for her concerns to made public, she reminded me of a recent conversation we had one afternoon at Hyde Park on a rare sunny day.
It went along the lines of this:

Kellie: "Haha look at that fat pigeon!"
Carrie: "Hey, don't make fun of the pigeon.... it may have a slow metabolism or something!"
Others: *Laughter*
Carrie: "Seriously guys! You never know.... I could have been a fat pigeon in a former life...."
Others: *stunned silence followed closely by total hysteria*

Now I feel this goes some way to proving (in my defence) that Carrie does not always make the best judgement calls, with or without my advice!


DISCLAIMER: We in no way support the mockery or bad treatment of fat pigeons and in fact feel strongly that all pigeons should be viewed and treated as equals regardless of their size, gender, bird orientation or feather colour. No Pigeons were harmed during the making of this blog.

Why you should never....

Trust my judgement (apparently)

It has been brought to my attention by my esteemed friend Carrie, that I do not always give the wisest of advice. Carrie also felt that this is something which should be acknowledged publicly as there have been many occasions whereby she HAS in fact trusted my judgement... and this has invariably led to disaster.

Two such occasions could be noted as evidence.
One involved Carrie approaching a random male at the pub who had shown us round his flat while Carrie was flat hunting, just to say hi. When Carrie asked my advice on if this was an appropriate course of action, I enthusiastically gave her the go ahead. The result of which was that said random male then attempted to hit on Carrie before his girlfriend got involved. Not a success.
Another occasion involved a Croatian man (again at the pub) The less said about that one the better, as Carrie is still trying to erase it from her mind.
(NOTE: It is important to acknowledge that whilst not a wise move based on my advice Carrie was acting as an honorable wingman at the time)

Now in my defence the occasions whereby my judgement tends to go astray are often when I am not at my best. Regarding the two afore mentioned examples, I probably had about 50% snakebite in my blood. On the whole I feel my judgement should be trusted, if for no other reason than the consequences are usually quite a lot of fun.

Article of my Day

Love this....

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Stiletto women in fire rescue
Two women getting ready for a night out used their stiletto shoes to break into a burning house and rescue an elderly woman.
Hannah Oxby, 20, and 19-year-old Emma Richardson climbed a garden fence and smashed the neighbour's wooden front door with their high heels after they spotted smoke coming her house in Lincoln.
They then ran upstairs and guided the woman, thought to be in her 70s, to safety.
'She thought we were burgling her at first,' said Miss Oxby.
'But we were saying, "Get out of the house".'
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From Metro 01/07/2005


Proof (as if we needed any) that the wearing of high heels really CAN save lives.

Friday

Possibly the best day of the week?

I think so

Today I spent the better part of an hour considering my weekend and what I wanted to do with it.
Thus I came to the conclusion that I am going to attempt an alchohol free weekend, for the sake of my health, my bank balance, the bridesmaid dress I am desperate to fit into and my sanity.
I'm quite interested myself to see if I can manage it. In all honesty I'd be surprised... I've been meaning to have a months detox for the last eight months and I've yet to make it past three days.

If I was to cut out booze altogether I would be richer, healthier, thinner and have better skin. I'd be more productive and organised, my memory would undoubtedly improve as would my co-ordination. Drunken mistakes, arguments, stumbles, injuries and bruises, texting and phone calls would become a thing of the past.

But how boring would life be??