Mondayitis... and its Tuesday

Given the excellent mood I'm in currently, I thought now was as good a time as any to run down the top five reasons that London is currently driving me insane.

1) My shoes. I would just for once like to be able to buy one pair of the beautiful shoes that they flaunt in my face constantly, without them having to be reheeled within two weeks, or have the heel scratched to bloody bits. Or tripping over some big hole in the middle of street. Or getting my beautiful tipped spiked heel wedged into the bloody cobblestones forcing me to stop barefoot and remove it. Its cruel to give me such lovely lovely shoes and have them ruined simply by wearing them out once.

2) Pigeons.

3) Having just about every man over the age of 12 with a pulse think its ok to try and stop you in the street and say hello suggestively, not because they think that they stand a chance you see, just so they can degrade and torture you publicly. This is particularly bad on public transport and at bus stops. I was stopped at the bus stop last night in fact by a young man who wanted to know why I thought I was too good to talk to him. It was too cruel to state the obvious.

4) They look like human beings... They walk and talk like human beings. I've even heard rumours of instances when they've been known to act as human beings. However if one more of these mutant zombies gets in my way on the street or on the tube I will not be responsible for my actions.

5) I think that I may have actually turned into one of those uber aggressive mutant zombies.

Great day... oh look its started to rain.