How to break a man's ribs in a few simple steps

Step 1 - Make sure that you have gained a few extra pounds in weight. We find this is best achieved through excess alcohol, takeaways and general laziness.
Step 2 - Consume excess amounts of previously mentioned alcohol.
Step 3 - Access costumes from your token cockney friend (For those of you who do not have access to any cockneys, then we suggest substituting with a bogun/beach bum equivalent)
Step 4 - Assign costumes, ensuring that you are the lucky person who gets to wear the silver sequinned man's G - String over your jeans.
Step 5 - Continue to consume excess quantities of alcohol meanwhile depleting shame levels.
Step 6 - Choose target/unsuspecting male dressed as a cheerleader.
Step 7 - Once he has fallen, jump on his back and pretend to ride around on him.
WARNING: This may result in flashbacks, chronic embarrassment and extreme guilt over said broken rib. We would advise that all photographic evidence be burnt.

DISCLAIMER: For legal purposes it is necessary to point out that no ribs were broken during our research and any injuries that may or may not have been sustained only resulted in bruising and are not admissible in a Court of Law.